Sails Made of Cash

By Jonathan B Ferrini

The journey of a young man dubbed as a' slacker' by a dismissive father

I’m a “Slacker” and a “Gen Z basement dweller” according to my father who included these insults on a note with my personal possessions placed in our front yard for me to find upon returning from work.

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My dad is a hard-nosed career civil servant managing properties owned by the State of Hawaii. I disappointed him when I dropped out of college.

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School is difficult for me although I kept this secret from my family whose only child was expected to become an academic superstar. I’m a visual learner. Show me how to complete a task and I will repeat the task quickly and more efficiently. Show me an instruction manual and I’ll have the assembly committed to memory within seconds. Ask me to read or write, however, and I struggle. 

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Mom is my “emotional buoy” and empathized with my learning “disability”. Mom’s pleading for patience and understanding was met by dad’s standard refrain,

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“Bullshit!

“He needs to try harder.”

I share rent with a group of friends who prefer to surf instead of work.

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I work nights as a “Barback” at “The Grass Skirt” which is a Tiki style dive bar and strip club. I want to become a bartender and watching the drinks mixed fascinates me. I’m able to commit the mixology to memory and created a visual reorganization of the bar to increase productivity. I feign a slow learning curve, so I don’t embarrass the bartender and get fired.

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It was Wednesday “Hump Day Happy Hour”and I was breaking up a “cat fight” between two drunken strippers over a stolen wallet lifted by “Fawn” whose fingers can extricate a dollar placed between two cinder blocks and glued.

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Getting in the middle of these ladies is like walking into a “cage match” fight.

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I wrestled the wallet away and the identification inside said it belonged to a Honolulu businessman who operated “Ko’s Commercial Realty Company”. Sam Ko was an “old school” Honolulu businessman with many important business contacts on Oahu.

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I watched him stumbling out of our joint and saw a potential career opportunity or a reward in returning the wallet to him. I tipped each of the strippers twenty bucks to forget the matter.

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“I found your wallet, Mr. Ko!”

“What’s your name, kid?”

“Jonny Soo, Sir.”

“I know a ‘Soo’ who is an escrow officer in town who’s married to the property manager for the state.”

“That’s my mom and dad, Sir.”

“Why are you working in this joint?”

“Paying my bills until I find a challenging career opportunity.

“I would like to speak with you about a career in commercial real estate sales, Sir.”

“Taking one look at you, kid, I wouldn’t give you the time of day, but you come from good parents and returned my wallet.

“Come by my office tomorrow morning at nine sharp.”

I showed up at Ko’s office wearing the only suit I owned. The office was on Bishop Street in downtown Honolulu which is where all of the skyscrapers and the “go-getters” of Honolulu maintain their offices.

I saw about a dozen young guys like myself, feverishly pitching real estate over the telephone. I was impressed by their expensive watches and bespoke suits.

Ko didn’t waste time on an interview or pleasantries and reached for the phone,

“Leilani, come to my desk and meet a new prospect.”

A tall Asian beauty wearing Italian fashion and just enough pearl and gold to make an impression of class and sophistication sauntered over to meet us. She looked to be about thirty.

“This is Leilani.

“She’s my top salesperson.

“She’ll train you.”

I followed Lelani to her private office as did every guy’s eye in the office.

“Sit, Jonny.

“You’re my personal assistant until you get your real estate sales license which includes picking up my laundry, washing my sportscar, and anything else I demand.

“Any problems with this job description?”

“What about learning real estate?”

“We sell and lease commercial buildings.

“Introduce yourself to building owners and get the owners business card.

“Bring me a minimum of twenty business cards each day.”

“What happens if you complete a deal?”

“I keep one hundred percent of the commission.”

“So, I’m working for free?”

“If you consider unlimited income potential ‘free’, yeah.

“Look at those jerks out on the salesfloor.

“They’re all making ‘bank’ as you young Turks like to say.

“This gig has a ninety-day probationary period for you to impress me and obtain your sales license.

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“I went from working as a waitress on the graveyard shift inside a Waikiki coffeeshop to a high six figure queen living in an oceanfront condo with a wardrobe and shoe collection which would fill a boutique.”

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“How do I start?”

“Walk down to the port and along the beautiful shoreline where every tourist trap curio store, restaurant, warehouse, and any other commercial building is located.

“Vacant and ugly buildings spell ‘opportunity’ so try and get the owners business card.

“Get out of here but first fetch me a “Kona Iced Coffee” at the joint next door.

“Tell the owner it’s for Leilani who says, ‘Aloha’.

“There won’t be any charge.”

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I met my quota of twenty business cards a day. I’d leave work at five weekdays and rush to my evening gig at the Grass Skirt.

It was a Monday morning with grey clouds and a sweet rain misting the streets. The clouds parted and revealed the beautiful blue sky over Honolulu Harbor which was home to noisy commercial fishing vessels and cruise ships.

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I spied an old eight story building across from the harbor. All but one of the windows were dirty and appeared vacant except the corner office which had new window shades and the best view of the harbor. I surmised it was likely the owner’s office. I came upon a tarnished bronze plaque attached.

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Royal Hawaiian Import & Export Building

Established 1925

I read a beat-up “Directory” with about a dozen names which hadn’t been updated in decades. There was an unmanned desk for a security guard.

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I headed for the old elevator which moved slowly to the top floor.

I exited the elevator on the eighth floor.

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It was a small floor with few offices and each door was unlocked. The offices had been vacant for decades but views from the old dirty windows offered a magnificent view of the harbor and Diamond Head.

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I came to a corner office which had the best view from the building. The walnut door was marked,

SUITE 888

PRIVATE

I knocked but nobody answered although I heard somebody moving about inside. The elevator door opened, and I was confronted by one hell of a big native Hawaiian security guard.

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“Come with me, Brah.

“Somebody wants to meet you.”

He looked upward toward a video camera. A buzzer sounded and the door of suite 888 unlocked. He opened the door and excused himself,

“Good luck.”

I walked into a small lobby. It was stark except for an old clock on the wall and a couple of wooden seats you’d find in a courthouse. It smelled of cigarette smoke and the faded carpet was worn out.

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A mature Asian woman approached wearing an elegant red silk Qipao with a gold flower pattern and stiletto black high heel shoes tearing up the carpet like she’d ripped hearts from lovers throughout her life.

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She was elegant despite the cigarette dangling from her mouth. I estimated she was in her sixties, but the silk dress accentuated a shapely figure. She wore a set of pearl earrings with matching necklace, tennis bracelet, and a large jade ring on her long thin middle finger of the left hand. I guess it made “giving the finger” elegance.

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“Take a seat.

“I’m Miss Chin.”

“Here’s my business card, Miss Chin.

“I’m a trainee agent with Ko’s Commercial Realty.”

“How do you know Ko?”

“He’s a customer at The Grass Skirt.”

“What’s your association with the Grass Skirt?”

“I’m the Bar Back.”

“Why would Ko hire a lounge lizard like you?”

“He knows my mom who is an escrow officer in town and my dad is a property manager for the state.”

“It’s becoming clear to me, now.

“We own this building, and I resent you snooping around.”

A man’s voice came through a speaker,

“Quit givin’ the kid the ‘third degree’ and show him in.”

I heard a buzzer and the door behind Chin’s desk unlocked.

“Follow me.

“You’re about to meet your ‘Maker’”.

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I walked into a luxurious office which bore no relation whatsoever to the tired old concrete building and Chin’s drab lobby. The office had a full bar and Tiffany lamps.

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The walls were walnut paneled, the carpet was blood red, thick, and the furniture was mahogany will gold accents. The walls were filled with paintings depicting maritime themes and photos of Navy men from the Vietnam war.

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A man older than Chin with a military demeanor and crewcut hairstyle sat behind a massive teak desk.

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“We own fifty-one percent of the Grass Skirt, so I wanted to check you out.

“I remember being young, hungry, stupid, and willing to do anything to make a buck.

“Have a seat.

“My name is Bart.

“Chin’s a feisty old broad but she’s been married to me close to fifty years and this ‘ol sailor still loves her like the first day I met her in a Hong Kong slum when my ship made port.”

“Is that a model submarine torpedo on your desk, Bart?”

“Similar to a torpedo but its formal name is ‘AUV’ or ‘Autonomous Underwater Vehicle’.

“They move underneath the water but don’t carry munitions.”

“What purpose do these serve Bart?

“Underwater exploration and much, much more.”

“So, you’re in the AUV business?”

“Our firm is called ‘CBT’ which is short for ‘Confidential Business Transfers’.

“It’s the asset management company for many cash generating business enterprises purchased with the proceeds generated from the AUV business named, ‘Overseas Services Company’.

“CBT locates, purchases, and manages business opportunities for OSC.”

“So, CBT is like a property manager for OSC?”

“Precisely, Jonny.

“You remind me of my boss, Mitch.

“He’s the stepson of my former shipmate and founder of OSC.

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“That big stupid lookin’ guy in the photos is Mitch’s stepdad, Drake, but beneath that ugly mug was one shrewd son of a bitch!

“He created an empire, and I was lucky enough to be brought along for the ride.

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“Mitch was a dumb ass college kid just like you and took over when his stepfather, Drake, died.”

“Why does OSC earn so much cash?”

“Good question, Jonny.

“OSC maintains and launches AUV’s for the Navy from an isolated atoll in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

“OSC has AUV’s crawling all over the Pacific seafloor snooping, mapping and more.

“Nobody does it better and since it requires a top security clearance from the Navy, OSC name’s its own price because we have no competitors in the Pacific Ocean.

“OSC is a ‘cash cow’ which brings me to you, son.

“I think you can help us find investments for the cash generated by OSC.”

“What kind of investments, Bart?”

“We own most of the bars, strip clubs, pawn shops, check cashing joints, massage parlors, ‘hard money’ lenders, and bail bond companies on these islands.

“All legit business operations, got it?

“We prefer cash generating businesses near military installations because of those big payrolls paid out twice a month to the service men and women.

“Cash businesses are best for mitigating our tax liability purposes.”

“Why me, Bart?”

“I want you to run all of the escrows through your mom’s escrow company.”

“Why?”

“I want an escrow officer who doesn’t ask questions.

“Your pop will be the first to know when the state wishes to sell surplus property which could be of interest to our client, OSC.”

“I can’t involve my parents.

“They think I’m a loser.”

“Work our system and when your parents see the money your making, they may want to get ‘a piece of the action’.

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“We have methods of generating opportunities for you.”

“How?”

“We own the largest beer, wine, and spirits distribution company in Hawaii.

“When bars, liquor stores, and restaurants become delinquent on their accounts, we approach them with an offer to purchase a controlling share of their business in return for bringing their account current.

“If they don’t sell, we cut them off from inventory which drives them out of business.

“That’s how we got fifty-one percent of the Grass Skirt.”

“How do I write up the offers?”

“Chin will teach you everything.

“You continue to work through Ko at his office and never make any mention of this operation.

“He’ll be kissing your ass with the commission income you’ll be funneling through his office.

“Play your cards right and you’ll buy Ko’s office out from under him.

“I wish you the best of luck now get out of here.”

I felt like the luckiest guy in the world but wondered if I had made a Faustian bargain as I sat before Miss Chin.

“When do I start, Miss Chin?”

“Sign this Nondisclosure Agreement which has ‘teeth’ to assure you make no mention of our business operations.

“That menacing security guard you met is named ‘Sonny’ who handles all of our collections and enforcement matters.

“Memorize my phone number I wrote down inside this Grass Skirt matchbook.

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“When you see the number show up on the phone, pick up, day or night.

“I have your first meeting scheduled.

“Tomorrow, ten am sharp.

“You’re meeting Wendell Wong at “Luky Louie’s Liquor” at their store in Waikiki.

“Wendell is the grandson and trustee of Louie’s estate.

“He spends more time in Vegas gambling away the profits than running his grandfather’s liquor stores.

“He owes our liquor distributing business one hundred thousand dollars and is ninety days in arrears.

“It’s come to my attention that he’s leveraged all of the real estate and there is no more equity.

“He’s behind in his mortgage payments and the bank may foreclosure soon.

“I will text you our standard contract which provides for our clearing his debts in exchange for equity.”

“What are your terms, Chin?”

“We take a fifty-one percent ownership in all of his liquor stores and real estate.”

“Can’t he find liquor inventory from another distributor?”

“Nobody will touch his credit and won’t interfere with our client.

“They know better!

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“He must sign the contract with no changes whatsoever.

“He becomes a silent partner.

“Our managers will take over the day-to-day operation.

“You deliver the signed contract to your mother’s escrow company who will handle the sale.”

“Why do you only want fifty-one percent equity, Chin?”

“You’re already growing wiser, Jonny.

“’Pigs get slaughtered’.

“We want control but prefer to remain lowkey.

“No change in name, nothing.

“Now, get out and impress me tomorrow or we’re through with you.”